Living Our Amends Condado 12 & 12 Alcoholics Anonymous in San Juan, Puerto Rico

Instead, consider becoming an organ donor, or donating to charities that support victims of drunk drivers. It is important, during this process, that you understand that a simple apology is not enough to undo the damage you have done. Rather, you need to make a more concrete and serious effort to express that you know what https://ecosoberhouse.com/article/making-living-amends-during-addiction-recovery/ wrongs you have done, and that you have changed, and want to make things right. At Boardwalk Recovery Center, we support clients through the steps and encourage them to make amends when appropriate to restore their relationships and sense of morality. Some of these same things can happen to the other person in the process.

Making amends means apologizing but also goes one step further—doing everything in your power to repair the damage, restore the relationship, and/or, replace what you took. If you’re writing a letter, whether sending or sharing it in person, spend some time reflecting on and sharing the actions you’re taking to redress the wrong(s) done. Making amends requires the individual to correct their mistake. This action can demonstrate the person’s new way of life in recovery. It goes beyond simply apologizing to taking steps to right a wrong. Whenever possible, those in recovery are encouraged to make direct amends face-to-face with those they’d harmed while living in addiction.

Tips and Tricks for Starting and Working Step 9 of AA

When making direct amends, it is usually best to do so after a sustained period of sobriety and while in a calm state of mind. One very effective way to make amends is to go to treatment. At FHE Health, you’ll learn more about Step 9 and how to handle the worst of experiences. For many, this is one of the most important components of recovery, because it allows them to work on rebuilding their relationships and letting go of those they cannot repair. Our team works closely with you throughout this process to help you achieve your goals in recovery. By calling the helpline you agree to the terms of use.

The pathway toward renewal and personal growth in recovery is a gradual one. The 12 Step program of Alcoholics Anonymous provides the framework to slowly but surely attain this new mindset. Arriving at Step 8 relies on having completed the previous steps, which allows us to make a thorough list of the people we have harmed. Step eight of Alcoholics Anonymous asks its members to make a list “of living amends all persons [they] have harmed” and to be willing to make amends to those individuals. Here are some tips that can help you while you are making your list of people to whom you will make amends. Once you enter into sobriety, there isn’t a set timeline for working Steps 8 and 9, so you might want to ask your sponsor and recovery support network for their insights about whether you’re ready.

Should I Try to Make Amends with Someone Who Doesn’t Want to Hear from Me?

When you start to embody the guiding principles of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), you’ll embark on a journey to convince the people you’ve hurt that you’re changing for the better. Step 9 of AA allows you to open the door for honest discussions about how you might have caused harm and what you can do to rectify it. In doing so, you’ll build a strong foundation for developing positive relationships with people in your life. Taking these actions helps us to separate ourselves from the disease of addiction.

You will need to demonstrate that you are committed to rebuilding trust and repairing your relationship with them. However, even if you feel extremely motivated to make direct amends, it is advisable to take your time with this step. Make sure that you are comfortable with your progress during recovery and that both you and the other person are ready to engage in the process. While many people are receptive and supportive to attempts to make amends, some are not.

Making Amends: How to Approach Step 9 AA… and When Not To

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. It’s important to have a plan in place before we reach out. We can’t know for certain how another person will respond—or even how the interaction might affect us emotionally.

• Today, I know my words have value whether they pay attention or not.
• And some people in your life may not be receptive on your timeline.
• Then, you’ll want to categorize each amend you have to make.
• Any person or institution that I had wronged, I needed to write them down.

In order to truly understand this concept, it is important to really understand the steps involved, and how it helps to complete them. To discern whether to make amends, ask yourself why you’re wanting to contact the person. For example, if you had an affair for three years during active addiction, visiting your ex to fess up and say you’re sorry isn’t going to help them; it’s going to hurt them.

The steps ensure that those in recovery feel supported, safe, and secure in making the next step to freedom from addiction. Living amends is a third option for those in the ninth step of recovery. With this option, the individual in recovery takes steps to improve their relationships and demonstrate their lifestyle change.

• An open meeting is open to the public, while a closed meeting is for members only.
• A qualified behavioral therapist can help you identify the areas of your life that need attention.
• For example, if you had an affair for three years during active addiction, visiting your ex to fess up and say you’re sorry isn’t going to help them; it’s going to hurt them.
• If this is the case, chances are the person may come back and request repayment.
• It’s not one we use too frequently in our everyday language, but it still holds significant meaning.

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. After years of being bossy and overbearing, my basic apologies meant little. They don’t always see my hands off approach as sincere kindness, but my motives are pure. After attending your first AA meeting you may be eager to take responsibility for any harm created by your drinking habits. This is a good start to your journey, but AA Step 9 isn’t completely dependent on you.